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Thursday, August 27, 2009

Essay: Characteristics of a Fixed Gear

While wandering around on various blog sites (I do it for work, I swear) I came across this cute little "essay" by Craig Runyon from Eugene, Oregon about fixed gear bikes on this cycle shop blog. Some are very clever, some not so much. But fun none the less!

Essay: Characteristics of a Fixed Gear
A fixed gear bike is never broken. It’s fixed.

A fixed gear coined the term “The new black.”

If a fixed gear was old enough to run for president, it’d win.

A fixed gear has enough love for everyone.

When a fixed gear speaks, people listen.

A fixed gear always puts the toilet seat down.

A fixed gear invented the internet.

Fixed gears could solve global warming.

On a fixed gear, your wheels don’t roll. You stay still and the earth spins below you.

A fixed gear never calls for a fair catch.

A fixed gear taught Yoda how to fight.

A fixed gear can fit a square peg into a round hole.

A fixed gear don’t take no lip.

A fixed gear will break your heart.

If Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris and Mr. T got in a fight with a fixed gear, the fixed gear would be the last man standing.

Cain is to Able as a fixed gear is to a single speed.

A fixed gear will love you and leave you.

A fixed gear can bend it like Beckham.

A fixed gear isn’t afraid to wear pink.

“Where’s the beef?” A fixed gear knows.

Look up fixed gear in the dictionary. Its definition: totally awesome!

Miles Davis’s album “The Birth of Cool” is said to be about a fixed gear.

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